Season of Silence Timeline

When I was first drawn into my season of silence, I had no time line as to how long that would be.  I wanted to stop in today long enough to let you know that I have received that answer.

As difficult as it is for me to digest, I truly believe I am to remain in a season of silence until after Easter.

If that seems like a long time to you, be assured it also seems like a long time to me too.  However, due to some things that have come to light, I am quite confident that this is the answer to my prayers of "How long Lord?"

The meeting with my Lord this time around is not the same as I have experienced it so often in the past.  This time there are moments that it feels as if more of a struggle.

Not a struggle to surrender, but rather a struggle to listen, to quiet, to still myself.  Almost a restlessness of sorts. 

An increased learning to wait.  To listen.  To just linger....

I will tell you that some of my theology, as I have known it, is being turned upside down.

It is a good struggle, a good upside down... if there is such a thing.  Perhaps this type of experience is what is referred to as "working out your salvation"?

Philippians 2:12b-13 (NLT) "Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."

There is a working taking place and it is not so easy. 

Beneficial?  Absolutely!  Worthwhile?  You Bet!  But easy and without effort... it is not.

To each and every one of you, THANK YOU for waiting with and for me in this journey.  This means so much more than you know!

For now, it's time to return to my season of silence, but I wanted to stop in long enough to let you know the time line.  My e-mail will continue to remain open during this time. (mqcorner@hotmail.com)

Even if you are not in a focused season, I'm trusting that each one of you are finding moments to also quiet yourselves before God... learning, listening, and just lingering...in His presence.

A Season of Silence

I'm hoping you have a bit of time today to grab your cup of coffee, sit back, and stay awhile.  I have some things that I really want  need to talk about.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about life lately.  But then, that's not so new.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about blogging lately.  But then, that's not so new either.

Regarding my blog

I tend to re-evaluate my place here at least a couple of times a year.  Recently, I've had some new thoughts swirling in my brain.

Not so long ago I found myself remembering what blogging was like all those years ago when I first started.  It seemed to me that maybe it had changed somehow.

After pondering this for a few weeks, my thoughts were confirmed by Linds that, indeed, blogging has changed.

At some point along the way, I began reading and following seven blogs on how to blog.  Slowly and without warning, I began believing and following the instructions they were giving.  (or at least trying to)

As I have continued thinking about blogging, and my blog here, I realized that the "how to's" have really started weighing me down and taking me to a place in some of my motivations and drive that I did not like.

I have since removed all of those blogs from my reader.  Every last one of them.

And then today I was told, in an indirect way that felt very direct (because it's exactly what I needed to hear), that my blog will never measure up. 

Now before you go getting all upset or think that was rude, I am completely grateful!  In fact, I can't tell you the weight that lifted from my shoulders as I read, and was almost given permission, for my blog to never measure up. 

I have also been considering the responses that were given on my survey.  I learned that, of those that responded, 58% of you don't have a blog of your own, yet you choose to come and spend time here.  I am so honored to have your presence!  Knowing this information has been helpful as I consider my place here.

Regarding my life

In addition to all of this, for about the last 9 months my heart has found itself in a place I least expected in life.  It has been quite consuming.  I know and believe that when I get to the other side of this, I will be all the richer for it.  But it's the getting to the other side...

If you would have told me two years ago that I would have encountered the things of these last months, I would have laughed and never believed you.

But, the reality is... I did.  I have been putting a lot of focused time into the restoration and renewal process, but there is still work to be done.

Regarding my plans 

Given all of this, I have been sensing that I need to take extra and more focused time to quiet.  To silence.  To stop having my words flow so freely so that I can be able to better discern what HIS words are...

And so, I am going to be doing just that.  I am going to enter a season of silence here and on my Facebook page.  I just need a bit of time to do some sifting, sorting, re-evaluating, renewing, re-focusing...and resting.

If you think of it and would like to pray with me during this time, I would gladly welcome that!

I will continue to leave my e-mail open during this time.  (mqcorner@hotmail.com)  Please feel free to contact me that way.

I know this was long, and if you made it this far... then I Thank You!  Thanks for listening to the things of my heart.

I'm eager to see what God has for me, for you, for all of us in the next season...

Ecclesiastes 3:1,7b (NIV) "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:  a time to be silent and a time to speak."

Significance: What is it really?

"Being significant is not the same as looking significant.  Sometimes the significance of what a person contributes doesn't get noticed until the contribution ceases."                   ~ John Ortberg

"No great cathedrals will ever be built again, because so few people are willing to sacrifice to that degree." ~Anonymous

I am quite sure that if you take the few minutes to watch this clip you will not be disappointed, but instead quite encouraged.


"At times my invisibility has felt like an affliction to me, but it is not a disease that is erasing my life.  It is the cure for the disease of self-centeredness.  It is the antidote to my own pride."                     ~ speaker in this clip


If I do it right, I shouldn't be seen.  If I do it well, I should never be seen.  But God sees.

May it be nothing about me.  May it be all about Him.

May He alone be seen!

John 3:30 (NLT) "He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less."

Finding the Definition of You

I looked into the mirror and didn't recognize the face looking back. It startled me. That person I thought I knew so well was now experiencing something so unfamiliar.

I didn't realize it at the time. Or at least I didn't want to admit it at the time... but I had allowed something very dangerous and destructive to happen.

Of course it happened so slowly.  So very slowly.

If it had happened with any speed at all I surely would have recognized it. I would have fought it. I would have recognized the danger in it. But it didn't. It was silent... until it exploded.

I had given away something so very valuable and precious. I had given permission for others to determine something that only one should have the power to determine.

I had allowed many others to give a definition that had already been decided and written in black and white... and even in the red of the sacrificial blood of love.

I knew better. It was not intentional. It just happened. I did not keep my focus. I allowed others to define me.

I have since reminded myself that no one has earned the right to define my worth and value. Not even myself! No one should be allowed that role except one... God Himself.

He created me. Surely He is the only one who truly can define the value and worth of me.

My identity is NOT:
* how co-workers define me
* how my boss defines me
* how my church family defines me
* how my children's teachers define me
* how my children's friends define me
* how my neighbors define me
* how my friends define me
* how my family defines me
* how my parents define me
* how my children define me
* how my husband defines me

It is NOT even in
* how I define myself

My identity alone rests in how God defines me.

Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV) "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."


Now that verse in the words of Dennis Jernigan:

"The eternal self-existent God, the God who is 3 in 1, He who dwells in the center of your being, is a powerful and valiant warrior. He has come to set you free, to keep you safe and to bring you victory. He is cheered and He beams with exceeding joy and takes pleasure in your presence. He has engraved a place for Himself in you and there He quietly rests in His love and affection for you. He cannot contain Himself at the thought of you and with the greatest joy spins around wildly in anticipation over you… and has placed you above all other creations and in the highest place in His priorities. In fact, He shouts and sings in triumph joyfully proclaiming the gladness of His heart in a song of rejoicing. All because of you."

Who (or what) is defining you today?


Participating in Word Women Wednesday over at Tiffini's


Illness remains.  An edited re-post

How I Pray for My Children

I admit it. I have sometimes found it difficult to pray for my children.

Not difficult because I don't want to. Difficult because it seemed that my prayers became redundant. It felt that I was reciting the same wrote lines day after day.

I ask my children each morning, "How can I pray for you today?".  The practice of asking this morning question has helped to develop my prayers for them.

 The last two sentences they hear as they get out of the car are "I love you" and "I'll be praying for you today".

 However, on the days they didn't have something out of the ordinary happening, it seemed to be the same redundant words.

I have now added something to my routine. It has deeply enriched my prayers for them. I have even started a journal for each of them so they will be able to someday look back and see exactly what I was praying for them.

When I first started I had a new focus each day. Somehow that made it seem like I was glossing over the potential depth of what it was that I was praying for them. I have since changed to a new focus every week.

So, what is the focus of my prayers?  How do I pray for my children?

I am praying Scripture for and over my children. Each week I choose a new Scripture and pray it every day. I choose one for each child each week and write it out in the journal I have for them.

I have found that by the end of the week, not only have I prayed it, it has somehow become quite personalized for that child. I also have the idea of the verse memorized after a week of saying it each morning and thinking of the truth of it specific to my child throughout the day.

Each morning as I gather the items for my quiet time, I get their Scripture prayer journals as well. I open to the personalized Scripture that week and start my day off with focused thoughts and prayers for them.

It never ceases to amaze me how often events in their life seem almost orchestrated to fit so perfectly into the verse I have selected to pray for them that week. Coincidence?... I think not.

(Re-post from the archives)

Do you pray consistently for your children?  For others?  Do you pray Scripture to pray for them? 

Would you like to read about and understand better how to pray Scripture for others?  For yourself?

Mommy's On Duty

Remember me talking about how sick I was last weekend?  It was bad!  Worse than I've had it in a LONG time.

Well, it appears it is now hubby's turn.

I guess one good thing is that I hadn't put all of the medications, humidifiers, thermometers and other apparatus away yet as I'm still not completely over it myself.  It was all still out ready for another round.

Mommy is now on full time (plus) duty so daddy can take his turn.

I'll return when I can...


In the meantime:

Some of the discussion regarding secrets to faithfulness during dark times has reminded me of talking at the beginning of last year about praying for hunger. It has been a good reminder for me to assess... am I praying for hunger?  Are you?

And here are a couple of posts that have had me thinking since I first read them earlier this week:
(Click on the bold text to go to the full post.) 


Kat asks Is God Safe?

"...perhaps the Christian faith isn’t actually ultimately all about us. Perhaps it’s about His glory, not my safety, happiness or peace."  ~~Kat

Emily talks about When the artist makes it big

"...joy comes in broken, quiet ways; ways handed over only to the heart who is willing to receive the gift of small."  ~~ Emily Freeman

What did you read (blog or otherwise) that's had you thinking?

Secrets to Faithfulness During Dark Times

I have experienced some difficult and dark days recently.  Dark days of my heart and soul.  I'm not able to divulge all of the details at this time.

I'm not even sure the details of the dark matter.  The fact is, I'm convinced that we all have dark days.

Plans crumble.  People Disappoint.  Dreams fade.  Hearts bleed.  Loss steals.  Promises are broken.  Life happens.

The dark comes.  And if we are not careful, it can engulf.

As I am working to the other side of these days, hope is beginning to shine through once again.  I stand back to survey the situation and I am almost shocked at what I find.

My personal quiet time remained intact through it all.  Not because I am some saint.  Not because I am super spiritual.  Not because God was moving in amazing ways during this time. 

The fact is, He has actually seemed quite silent.  Nothing.  Perhaps that is what makes my discovery even more amazing.

Even in the perceived silence I continued to seek Him out.

As I have thought on this, I believe I have stumbled upon some of the secrets to remaining faithful during dark times.

Develop the Habit in Good Times 
It has been proven that muscle has memory.  I have watched as my own daughter learned spelling words using sign language.

As she was then verbally asked to spell the word (in addition to using her signs) her mouth uttered the wrong letters while her hands continued to spell the word using the correct letters.  Muscles have memory.

I had focused on establishing my habit of meeting with God every morning.  When the dark days came, it just happened.

My body woke, brewed the coffee and found itself sitting where it had been every morning for months before.  It was the standard routine.  It remembered what to do when my mind always couldn't.

Have a Plan
I knew exactly what I would be spending each morning in quiet doing.  At the time I was reading through the Bible in 90 days.  There was chapter and verse lined out each morning.

I did not have to use any energy to think through what I would do from day to day once I sat in my chair with coffee in hand.  I knew what to do and where to head once I settled in.

I honestly believe these two things kept me from spiraling so much deeper during those days.

This side looking back, I believe wholeheartedly that God met with me each and every morning.  I believe that finding myself in His Word daily, even though I felt nothing, kept me grounded... even if it didn't seem that I was experiencing that.

What about you?  

Have you established the habit?  Would your muscles know exactly what to do and where to go to continue to acknowledge God as Lord in dark times, even when your mind could barely muster the energy to think of what to feed your family that night?

Do you have a plan?  When you do sit to meet with God, do you have a plan or do you just choose from day to day?  Are you studying a book of the Bible?  Are you working through a devotional?  Is there a Bible study you're doing?

I have learned that when I near the end of my current plan, then I need to begin thinking as to what my next plan will be.  To be left without a plan leaves me in danger of doing absolutely nothing.  And that is not a plan I want to consider!

What other secrets have you found to remaining faithful during the dark times?

What Are You Into...

What I am into this month – March 2011

On my nightstand:
I just finished:   
Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst
Finding Peace for Your Heart by Stormie Omartian
The Grace of God by Andy Stanley

I am reading:
Worship Matters by Bob Kauflin
Man- The Dwelling Place of God by A.W. Tozer

I am preparing to read:
Leading on Empty by Wayne Cordeiro
It's No Secret:  Revealing Divine Truths Every Woman Should Know by Rachel Olsen

I also have a book that I will be reading and reviewing... with 5 copies to then giveaway!  Stay tuned...


Book of the Bible
I am now reading my way through the Bible chronologically and am finishing up Numbers preparing to head into Deuteronomy and Joshua.


Devotional I'm Using
Streams in the Desert by Jim Reimann and Mrs. Charles E. Cowman


In my Ears
I recently created a collection of songs on my iPod in a playlist that I have titled "darkness praise."

It is a group of songs that I listen to when the moments in my day are feeling quite dark.  I plan to share this list with you in the coming days.


Items of note
Track started this week.  Our son took 1st place in the high jump last year at district.  We know that things may be quite different this year now that we are competing at the high school level.  Regardless, we're just ready to get it going again.

This is the season of birthday's around here.  All three males in our house celebrate within 2 1/2 weeks of each other.  Cake anyone?


What I’m looking forward to next month
Spring.  It will come, right?  We currently have snow on the ground and more fell today.  To accompany that it has been just downright cold.  Yes, spring will be a very welcomed sight around here!

It's time to get these children out of this house.  It's time to get me out of this house. 


Newest blog reads
Kat @ Inspired to Action

Emily @ Chatting at the Sky


In my home
I had my first tulips for the season in a vase and in my home, never mind the snow outside.

I had them laying between the front seats of the van when I picked my children up.  My son asked, "What are the flowers for?"  I replied, "Your dad bought them for me.  He just doesn't know it yet."

We both smiled as did my husband when I later relayed the conversation to him.

I'm thinking he's probably wanting to buy me some more soon.  *grin*

******
Now it's your turn! What are YOU into this month? Chat away in the conversation below or borrow this for inspiration on your own blog.


Inspired by Tiffini over @ The House of Belonging