I'm Not Who I Was

It was only 15 days ago that we received the news. At times it seems like only yesterday, but most of the time it seems like forever ago. So much has transpired since then. So much that has been life changing.

The phone call took my breath away leaving me kneeling on the floor at the church in uncontrollable sobs, surrounded by friends. My 18 year old 'brother' had lost his life in an accident.

I reminded myself through the tears, that even in this God had a plan to use this for the good of His glory. I just couldn't see how...

...And since, already, I have seen glimpses of God in the midst of it.

We were already schedule to leave just 5 days later for a 9 day trip to Guatemala. My dad was scheduled to go with us. Due to the timing of everything, his keeping the commitment to the trip would mean missing the funeral.

After much prayer and with the blessing of the family, he chose to proceed with the trip.

And not only make the trip, but the decision was made that my brother's personal items (clothes, "toys", etc.) would be brought on the trip to distribute to those in extreme poverty in the lake area of Guatemala.

We just returned home late Sat. night from our trip to Guatemala. I am so excited to share with you about our time there over the next days and weeks.

Sharing.  Loving.  Ministering.  Grieving.  Healing.  And being loved on by them... 

And most of all...seeing God present in humbling, amazing, and awesome ways.

The events of the last 2 weeks have changed me. Are changing me.  God is at work.

Praying.  Searching.  Seeking.   Examining.  Considering.  Pondering.

I don't exactly know the full extent of what all of this means yet, but this I do know...

I'm not who I was.


  1. Crystal Sandow3:27 PM

    Oh my friend. 
    I do not have words.  I weep with you and lift you to the Comforter.How precious to see God in the midst of it all...

  2. Angie4:02 PM

    Sharing in your tears... for you, with you. Looking forward to hearing your stories and how God is making you more like Him through it all. Love to you.

  3. Nancygraycejinks6:38 PM

    Oh, Donnetta, I'm so sorry.  I have no words, but I know that you and your dad were in God's care and keeping as you helped your brother minister to those less fortunate.  I pray for your comfort in the days to come.  Love to you!

  4. I'm truly sorry to hear about your grief ... so very sorry and no you will never be the same grief and death mark us for life, but joy will come ...
    With Sympathy,

  5. lindalouise8:49 PM

    I am so sorry for your deep loss Donnetta.
    I have never gone on one of those mission trips, but I cannot imagine being left unchanged by the experience. I know you will have so much to share. I'm looking forward to it. 

  6. MyQuietCorner9:51 PM

    Thank you for this.  Yes, it has been indeed precious and amazing to see God in the midst of it all.  He's just faithful like that!

  7. MyQuietCorner9:53 PM

     Thank you.  God, is indeed, using this to challenge me to be more like Him through it all.  I'm learning more and more each day that He seems to use the most difficult of circumstances to do just that, all for His glory!  Loving you too!

  8. MyQuietCorner10:04 PM

     Thank you.  Yes, we were very much aware each moment of the way that God was keeping us.  And yes, my brother was able to minister to those less fortunate, even in his death.  It was a very beautiful and healing thing.  Thank you for the prayers and love to you!

  9. MyQuietCorner10:06 PM

     Thank you.  Yes, I believe joy will continue to come as it already has through so many events that transpired on our shared trip to Guatemala in the midst of it all.  God truly is healing in the midst of loss.  He's just good like that.

  10. MyQuietCorner10:08 PM

     Thank you.  This was my first one, and yes... so much to consider.  I'm sure the changes and challenges will continue to come for days ahead.  I'm looking forward to sharing all that has transpired!

  11. nikkipolani11:39 PM

    I'm sorry to hear about this loss in your life.  Just today, a dear brother in Christ died suddenly and even as I was reeling from the news, I came across your post.  You are right about this pivotal time -- we will not be the same.

  12. Oh, how awful. I embrace you, from far away, and pray for you.

  13. I am wondering if God knew that you would NEED to be ministered to in Guatemala - He knew ahead of time the pain to come and orders our steps ... may you continue to find strength and peace ... the scripture on your header is a fitting one for this season

  14. MyQuietCorner8:54 PM

     Yes, He obviously knew.  And how much more meaning the preceding events gave to the trip.  Not only for myself and my family, but I believe for so many others as well. 

    Thank you also for the reminder of my header.  It hadn't come to mind specifically right now, but yes, so very fitting for this season!  Finding His strength in quietness and trust...

  15. MyQuietCorner8:57 PM

     Oh, I am SO sorry to hear of YOUR loss!!  No, not the same... but praying and trusting we find ourselves even closer to and more like Jesus on the other side of it all.  All for His glory! 

    Praying your find yourself clinging tightly to Him during this time discovering peace that passes all understanding...

  16. MyQuietCorner8:59 PM

     Thank you... for the far away embrace and for the prayers!  Appreciated...

  17. Donnetta:  I am so, so sorry to hear of your loss.  Sending prayers for you and your family.  I've been trying to comment all week but it hasn't let me, but please know I lifted you all before the Lord.

  18. OutnumberedMom1:50 PM

    I can relate. We got a life-changing call in January, and God has been showing us so much ever since. Keep learning -- keep sharing!

  19. MyQuietCorner11:02 PM

     Thank you for the prayers (even though you couldn't comment to let me know).  God knew and that's what I needed! 

  20. MyQuietCorner11:03 PM

     I'm so sorry to hear of your life-changing call.  I'm so thankful that God uses times such as those to show us so much that we might not otherwise see...  Thanks for the encouragement to keep learning and sharing!


Thank you for taking a moment to stop and chat. I enjoy the presence of you!