Who Defines You?

I looked into the mirror and didn't recognize the face looking back. It startled me. That person I thought I knew so well was now experiencing something so unfamiliar.

I didn't realize it at the time. Or at least I didn't want to admit it at the time... but I had allowed something very dangerous and destructive to happen. Of course it happened so slowly, so very slowly.

If it had happened with any speed at all I surely would have recognized it. I would have fought it. I would have recognized the danger in it. But it didn't. It was silent... until it exploded.

I had given away something so very valuable and precious. I had given permission for others to determine something that only one should have the power to determine. I had allowed many others to give a definition that had already been decided and written in black and white... and even in the red of the sacrificial blood of love.

I knew better. It was not intentional. It just happened. I did not keep my focus. I allowed others to define me.

It was not good! It was not right! It was not healthy! It set out to destroy me! It had the potential of stealing from me the very person that God created me to be!

I have since reminded myself that no one has earned the right to define my worth and value. Not even myself! No one should be allowed that role except one... God Himself. He created me. Surely He is the only one who truly can define the value and worth of me.

My identity is NOT:
* how co-workers define me
* how my boss defines me
* how my church family defines me
* how my children's teachers define me
* how my children's friends define me
* how my neighbors define me
* how my friends define me
* how my family defines me
* how my parents define me
* how my children define me
* how my husband defines me

It is NOT even in
* how I define myself

My identity alone rests in how God defines me.

Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV) "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Now that verse in the words of Dennis Jernigan:
"The eternal self-existent God, the God who is 3 in 1, He who dwells in the center of your being, is a powerful and valiant warrior. He has come to set you free, to keep you safe and to bring you victory. He is cheered and He beams with exceeding joy and takes pleasure in your presence. He has engraved a place for Himself in you and there He quietly rests in His love and affection for you. He cannot contain Himself at the thought of you and with the greatest joy spins around wildly in anticipation over you… and has placed you above all other creations and in the highest place in His priorities. In fact, He shouts and sings in triumph joyfully proclaiming the gladness of His heart in a song of rejoicing. All because of you."
I encourage you to take a look at yourself. Who has the keys to your identity? Has it slowly and silently drifted from it's rightful owner without your intent or knowledge?

I was surprised to learn where I discovered the keys to mine. It has taken tears, heartache, pain and chaos and confusion of spirit to locate the problem and return the keys to the rightful owner.

If you find it is anyone other than God Himself holding your identity keys... it could potentially destroy everything He created you to be. It almost did to me!


  1. It is good to read your words again - to hear your heart. These are such wise words Donnetta.

  2. I REALLY needed this today. I referenced it on my own blog and facebook.
    What a great reminder ! Thanks so much!!

  3. Exactly what I needed to hear today!

  4. This is so powerful, and exactly what I need to hear at this time in my life. As my children are defining who they are and allowing themselves to be the persons they were created to be -- and I'M allowing them to be -- I seem to have lost myself. Thank you for these words of wisdom, Donnetta.

  5. I needed this. Thank you. Will email soon. =)

  6. Donnetta, your words are inspiring and truthful. Who I let define myself is something I struggle with daily. It is something I'm trying to instill in my daughter at a young age - that it doesn't matter what other's think, but what God thinks.

  7. That is so good and so true. Funny, too how this is the second time this morning I've seen that verse (once here and once on a friend's FB status)..must be I need to read this!

    Thank you for sharing!


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