As I made one last stop before heading to bed, I saw the jeans hanging over the side of the tub. My first response was a sigh. What a mess they represented. What extra work they had created.
Earlier in the day my daughter was attempting to clean the surface of her pool. In the process she slipped and fell in, fully clothed. UGH. Wet jeans...
That same day she wanted to diaper the little guy all by herself. I decided to let her. I usually check her work. This time I didn't. I let her feel completely successful. Later, I noticed he was sitting in a pool of wetness. Upon further discovery I discovered the diaper... around his ankle. UGH. Wet jeans...
I admit it. I have a hard time letting the children do things themselves. I acknowledge that I like things done a certain way. I tend to check and sometimes even re-do their work.
I know this is not helpful or beneficial for them. I know I do this to avoid having a mess to clean. I know I do this because it takes less time for me to do a task. I know I do this to satisfy the perfectionist side of who I am. I know it largely becomes about me.
I realize that allowing them to do things without my assistance will help them learn. Allowing them to accomplish a task will help them feel competent, successful and able. Allowing them to perform will help them to perfect the task and accomplish more with less mess in less time.
I am trying to change.
Wet Jeans
As I saw the jeans hanging there, I grinned. I had changed a personal pattern. I had allowed the schedule of my day to slow enough to permit extra mess, extra work and extra time for these things... for my children.
I had tackled a part of me that does not come so easily. I am learning to allow opportunities for my children to learn, to grow and to become.
What a wonderful post!! I struggle with the same thing. Of allowing my kids to be free to do things on their own, even though it may cause a mess to be cleaned up.
ReplyDeleteyep...one of my struggles too *sigh*
ReplyDeleteGood job Mom! I wish I had done a bit more of that. My daughter-in-law does it so well. With five children it just isn't possible for her to do it all. The amazing thing is how competent they become as they grow older - and it does give them a real sense of accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteGood job, mom. I struggle with exactly what you are talking about. I daily remind myself that part of my job as a mom is to prepare Gabe for life and independence. Keep up the good work! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so perceptive. I wonder if I, like you, were to take on an infant again is I, too, would apply more of these important opportunities. Oh, wait, there's nothing stopping me from starting on the kids I'm already raising and on myself.
ReplyDelete